I think this is the last part of this series, although I'll probably hit 'post' and think of a whole load of other things to say!
Most of the qualities I've written are really about awareness and putting other people first.
Getting to know what's 'normal' and expected for the group you're playing with is really important when it comes to working well with people. Observe and ask. Is the conductor open to group discussions during the rehearsal or do they want you to save any questions for the break? What's the atmosphere like - is it full of jokes, or are you expected to take things very seriously? How do other people behave in the group? If you want to fit in, you may need to modify how you behave - of course, you might decide that you the culture of that group doesn't suit you, and that's fair enough too, but you can only find this out by observing and being aware of what's going on around you.
Generally, musical training encourages self-awareness - recognising your habits and what you're doing when you play your instrument. I recently read this article which describes two types of self-awareness - internal (which is knowing yourself well, probably what we normally refer to as self-awareness) and external, which is to do with being aware of how others see us and how are actions affect them. This article suggests that being good at both makes people good at 'leading' and I reckon a combination of the two makes for a musician who is good to work with too.
Make it about them not you
Most of these qualities are really about putting other people first, about not making yourself the centre of everything. About calmly getting on with the 'job' (or acting calm, even if you're not feeling it) and not making a fuss. If you're playing in a group, you're not the most important person, nobody is. If it's just you and an accompanist, you're still a team. Even if you're playing solo, completely on your own, if there's any sort of audience there, you're not the most important one. But all of the above habits are good for you too - being organised, informed, and on time makes things far less stressful, and they make you the sort of person who is valued, respected, and asked to do things.
Nobody expects you to be perfect, and you will have to odd 'off' day where you accidentally double-book yourself, forget your music stand, don't leave enough time to get to the venue, or inexplicably play like you haven't practised even when you've done loads, but if you're generally reliable, people know that's an off day and not your usual style. If you're exceptionally highly skilled at playing, you might be able to get away without doing some of these things - you could be late, demanding, difficult and diva-ish - but even then, imagine how much better it would be to be brilliant, reliable and friendly - what a combination!
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The Reliable Musician - a series of blog posts on the skills that make the sort of musician people want to work with!